


Blonde Enough (Family, Duty, Honor)

by WeirdDaydreamingFangirl



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Season 6 Episode 10 AU, canon-divergent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-07 14:30:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10362519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl/pseuds/WeirdDaydreamingFangirl
Summary: Jaime is drunk and contemplates on the loves of his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, I was looking through a sort of drabble series for multi-ships and I noticed that there was a lot of Arya/Jaime in it. Because I’m a curious and adventurous one, I decided to read some of it and ended up skimming and cringing. But because I’m weird, I kinda pondered on how I could make Arya/Jaime work.
> 
> This was the result of my musings.
> 
> To all Jaime/Arya shippers, I don’t think this is the fic for you.
> 
> Also, I tried editing/proofreading it again but it's too cringe-y for me to do so. XD

 

Jaime was turning into an official Lannister, finally taking his brother and sister’s advice. He downed as many cups of wine as he could hold. That conversation with Walder Frey left a sour taste in his mouth that not even the sourest of the served wine could wash out.

Walder proclaimed it as a feast for the Kingslayers and Jaime had no wish to be part of it, despite him being the original bearer of the name. Besides, Robb Stark hadn’t planned on burning innocents intentionally.

Another round of wine slid down his throat.

It still didn’t make it any easier. Hence, he turned to Cersei even more so he could forget. When he’s inside her, all he could see was white as he rode her to his climax. Sin to wash out sin, he mused. Aerys may be his finest act but he’d done other horrific things as well. He could forget all he had done; forget the sneers and japes as people muttered ‘Kingslayer’, and how much it hurt, as long as he was with Cersei.

Then recently, Brienne had lumbered into his life and she, herself, was white. So shockingly blindingly white that sometimes he felt that she could burn off all his darkness so he could be white again. Just as she almost did in Riverrun, telling him he had honor when the Blackfish, someone he had regarded as his hero, told him he had none.

Cersei was family and he shouldn’t have gotten himself involved with. Brienne was the honor he could never attain to be.

 _Family_. _Duty_. _Honor_. Jaime chuckled to himself. The words of whose home they just took away. He supposed he was duty, caught between family and honor. Just as Cersei was more than just family and Brienne learned the hard truth about honor, Jaime did duty that he didn’t like doing.  They were the twisted version of House Tullys words.

Jaime couldn’t stand the reek of rich food and fine wine.

With one final gulp, he drained the cup and stood up. Everything spun and it made him almost topple over had it not been for a small pair of limbs steadying him.

“Do you need help, m’lord?”

Jaime nodded at the girl. He assumed it was a girl. She sounded and felt like one. Then, he asked her to take him to his assigned chambers. As they made their way up the stairs, Jaime studied the girl. Her hair fell in curls like Cersei’s, the luscious locks before the Faith cut it off, but the way it reflected the colors of the torchlight reminded him of Brienne’s reflective platinum blonde.

 _Maybe blonde enough_ , Jaime mused.

They finally reached his room and the girl deposited him on the bed. Jaime thanked the girl but she remained where she was. He realized her hand was on his thigh. He barely looked at her face. It was plain, peasant, forgettable. But he looked at the long curly waves and platinum hair and he was entranced by it.

It was likely the wine muddling his head, but he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Jaime didn’t go further, waiting for the girl’s response. In a heartbeat, the girl launched herself at him, making Jaime fall on his back.

Jaime closed his eyes as they kissed deeper. The girl was small, smaller than Cersei even, but he was reminded of how delicate his sweet sister felt in his arms.

His real hand roamed and he felt the girl’s limbs. There were hard bulges of muscle there. They were small but they seemed strong. Jaime wound his arms around the girl to pull her closer, finding her chest flat. Muscles. Flat chest. Brienne immediately crossed his mind.

Jaime found himself smiling a little despite the pang of longing. This wisp of a girl reminded him of the two women that mattered in his life, yet she isn’t them.

His head was clearing a little. This whole thing wasn’t right, even if the girl was very much willing.

He placed his real hand between them to push her off when he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen. Jaime looked down to find a dagger hilt sticking out of his belly. Slowly, he raised his head to see properly the face of the girl.

Gone was the peasant face. In its place was the smiling face of a girl he had thought was long lost, long dead.

He wanted to tell Cersei he found the girl who ordered her dog to attack her eldest boy. He wanted to tell Brienne she found another Stark girl to bring home. But the girl yanked back the dagger and stabbed him again, and again, and again, over and over.

It felt like the fires of all Seven Hells and the ice of the Long Night coursing through his body at the same time. He couldn’t fathom the pain he was feeling. He’d been in many battles and wars but he’d never felt like this.

Jaime thought he should’ve fought back while he had a chance to, but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but writhe in agony. The murderous gleam of Arya Stark frightened him.

Physically, the girl was all Ned but the way hatred radiated from her steel eyes mirrored Catelyn. But even this was greater than the loathing he’d seen from Lady Stark. He remembered Aerys.

 _A Lannister always pays his debts_ , Jaime supposed. He had caused her family one unfortunate circumstance after another. He was simply paying the price. What a low price he was though. Tywin was probably worth more than all of them.

As his life drained away as quick as his blood, Jaime pondered on shallow things. Would Cersei weep as she had with Joffrey when they bring back his body? Would Brienne break down upon hearing news of his death?

He would never know.

Because everything was black.

 

**Author's Note:**

> In conclusion, I CANNOT make Jaime/Arya work at all. XD I had to technically drug Jaime and make him angst about his love life while making him see blonde enough and Arya just wants to kill him. I'm sorry for killing Jaime though. I'm kinda pissed at a Season 7 rumor. XD
> 
> Also, I tried to make this neutral between his thoughts of Cersei and Brienne but I’m JB biased so whatever.
> 
> This was a fun experiment but this was really cringe-y to do. Hahahahaaha. I wonder what experimental ship I shall torment myself with next. XD
> 
> I’m actually interested to know your thoughts on how I did with the characterizations and everything. I probably suck or whatever but this was really cringe-y to write in the first place. Still, reviews are appreciated. lol


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